Boobless Robot Lifeguard

Source: Popular Science

Nope, she isn't a Pamela Android.

No, she doesn't have boobs or run in slow motion.

But yes, she could save your life.

Her name is EMILY (Emergency Integrated Lifesaving LanYard ... that's a stretch) and she is a certified robo-lifeguard who is going to save riptide victims from undignified death by drowning.

This autonomous buoy operates in two ways. It can either be thrown from the shore, a helicopter, plane or boat manually by a human or it can just patrol the coastline looking for struggling swimmers. How the hell is she supposed to differentiate between the raucous splash fights and the truly drowning is where it gets interesting. EMILY uses sonar to hone in on movements associated with distressed swimmers such as panicked thrashing. Then she hits the throttle and shoots toward the drownee at upwards of 28 miles per hour.

Cool, you are drowning and a buoy shows up like an awkward red robo-angel, now what? Well she talks, giving you words of encouragement and instructions ("Hang the f*ck on!") that you should heed if you want hitch a ride back to the beach with minimal water in your lungs. If being comforted by software isn't really cutting it EMILY is also equipped with a camera operated by a lifeguard back on sure that can also give sage advise (Like, oh I don't know, maybe: "Hang the f*ck on!")

The EMILY 'bots will hit the beach sometime next spring and while each unit costs $3,500 you can't really put a price on saving a persons life, even if there are no slow motion boobs involved ...

Well, because I know you guys are thinking about it and are probably already Googling for Baywatch pics:

What did you expect? Don't hassel the 'Hoff!