Robot Border Patrol

Source: Popular Science

No it isn't US/Mexico, hell it isn't even the US/Canada border we are talking about here! It is in a little place between South Korea and its neighbor to the North (North Korea, FYI) known as the DMZ.

South Korea has recently unleashed not one, but two killer sentry robots to patrol the area between the two countries Korea. Each robot cost $334,000 but they have some serious hardware, just looking for an excuse to decimate some commies, such as fully automatic weapons and 40-millimeter grenade launchers.

Before you run to the hills and barricade yourself in for the Robocalypse these robots are not fully autonomous, and when a potential threat is encountered a real live operator makes the final kill/let live call.

I would try to do the humane thing and warn the North Koreans about the robo-twins of death, but they are a simple people who don't have fancy things like the internet ... or electricity.

Robo-Bartender

Source: Popular Science

It is official; modern robotics has finally reached perfection because you sure as hell can't beat this!

Let me introduce you the Willow Garage Robot. This little champ has been successful at mundane tasks, and has even proven itself a proficient pool shark but it has now found it's primary directive: getting your lazy biomass housed!

Just place your order via a web interface, hit the "Beer Me" button and just sit back and wait for your Robo-waiter to deliver you a cold brew.

Enjoy perfection:

Hell, he'll even crack it open for you if you request it! Although I think the Beer-bot either hasn't quite mastered the technique quite yet, or he just shakes the beer up a bit as a general display of distaste for humanity.

It is a hot day here, and I know many of you can respect anything that can make hydration/inebriation easier is only a step forward for humanity ...

Until Skynet goes online, of course.

Boobless Robot Lifeguard

Source: Popular Science

Nope, she isn't a Pamela Android.

No, she doesn't have boobs or run in slow motion.

But yes, she could save your life.

Her name is EMILY (Emergency Integrated Lifesaving LanYard ... that's a stretch) and she is a certified robo-lifeguard who is going to save riptide victims from undignified death by drowning.

This autonomous buoy operates in two ways. It can either be thrown from the shore, a helicopter, plane or boat manually by a human or it can just patrol the coastline looking for struggling swimmers. How the hell is she supposed to differentiate between the raucous splash fights and the truly drowning is where it gets interesting. EMILY uses sonar to hone in on movements associated with distressed swimmers such as panicked thrashing. Then she hits the throttle and shoots toward the drownee at upwards of 28 miles per hour.

Cool, you are drowning and a buoy shows up like an awkward red robo-angel, now what? Well she talks, giving you words of encouragement and instructions ("Hang the f*ck on!") that you should heed if you want hitch a ride back to the beach with minimal water in your lungs. If being comforted by software isn't really cutting it EMILY is also equipped with a camera operated by a lifeguard back on sure that can also give sage advise (Like, oh I don't know, maybe: "Hang the f*ck on!")

The EMILY 'bots will hit the beach sometime next spring and while each unit costs $3,500 you can't really put a price on saving a persons life, even if there are no slow motion boobs involved ...

Well, because I know you guys are thinking about it and are probably already Googling for Baywatch pics:

What did you expect? Don't hassel the 'Hoff!